Revision Strategies

Here are some posts on revision strategies I did for AlasdairGrant's blog, "The Creative Writing Toolbox."

Watch this space.  I will add subsequent posts as they are published.

The Word Nerd weighs in on Revision strategies

Thanks, Alasdair, for inviting me to post on your blog.

Stephen King said it well:  “When you write you tell yourself a story. When you rewrite you take out everything that is NOT the story.”

I’ve been asked to talk about revision. Revision (not to be confused with proofreading)  is probably the most difficult part of the writing process, but it is also the most important. Consider “revision” as a “re-seeing” of your work. This is where you focus on content:  characterization, action, tension, pacing, and word choice. There is analysis involved.  Sometimes it is painful. You may have to give up some beloved phrases, ideas, or plot points.  You may have to delete a character that isn’t working. Put your ego on the shelf and think of your story, your characters, and, most important, your readers.

First revision hint:  Be logical! Go through and find the “easier” fixes, those dealing with redundancies or word usage first.  Look for “blinking eyes” or “nodding heads.”  While we’re on the subject of nodding, is it necessary to tell your readers that somebody “nodded silently” as Brandon Sanderson does so many times in the Mistborn series?  “Silently” is completely superfluous, unless somebody’s brains have been replaced with marbles.  Maybe they can nod “slowly” or “briefly,” depending upon whether they’re hesitating or hurrying as they acquiesce, but “silently”?  Please, no. On that same note, look for redundancies in your descriptions.  “Round orbs,”  “loud explosions,” or “tall giants,” for example.

Trust your reader to be as logical as you are and delete any unnecessary information such as “Rebecca clasped Jane’s two hands in her own two.” Yes, sadly enough, such passages in published works exist. Unless this is an alien species that holds hands with their feet or boasts more than one pair of hands, you have not added any relevant description nor have you aided your reader in seeing what you see. Better:  “Rebecca clasped Jane’s hands in hers.”  And some would argue that “in hers” isn’t necessary either. Now you have room to have Rebecca look in Jane’s eyes and thank her, warn her, or encourage her, which goes much further toward character development than letting your reader know that each girl has two hands.  

The benefit from using logic and eliminating redundancies when revising is that you get clarity as a bonus. A clearer sentence is a stronger one.

Revision Strategies, Part II: Repetitive Redundancies

By way of explanation, the previous post Alasdair graciously included in his blog dealt with what  authors call “sentence-level” revision.  This post will contain more of the same.

After getting rid of illogical phrases (blinking eyes, nodding heads, silently nodding heads), the next thing to do might be to edit for specific word choices that seem repetitive or redundant.  If you already caught some of these in your first search-and-destroy, go back and catch some more. If this is your zero draft and you don’t edit as you go, there will probably be more *facepalm* moments for you than for some of us who are the edit-as-we-go types.  

Be on the lookout for:

how many times a character shrugs
purses his lips
rolls her eyes
lifts or raises an eyebrow
nods (silently or otherwise)
smirks
smiles
grins
or how often does the hair on the back of somebody’s neck stand up?
And no, you can’t get away with these as long as you vary the modifiers you throw at them.   

Do the characters’ eyes become nearly anthropomorphic (as in “my eyes went to his face”); does his gaze or glance “fall on” something or someone too often?  Do you overuse certain verbs, as in “he cast a glance in her direction” or “her final insult was cast over her shoulder as she left the room.”?

Are you considering your readers, or are you merely trying to show off your mad thesaurus skills? Have you fallen in love with the word effulgent and are you insistent on using it anywhere it will fit?  I’m not asking you to “dumb down” your prose or condescend to your audience, but you might want to reflect on why you’re using the word.  

Please realize none of these are “evil” in and of themselves.  What we’re mainly talking about is the annoyingly repetitive use of such words or phrases. While in editing/rewriting mode, you might try using some of the tools your word processor has to seek out some of the more overused words and either destroy or replace them (it’s actually called “search and replace,” but I prefer “search and destroy”).

Another suggestion, maybe a little more fun:  go to Wordle.net, click on the “Create” link and copypaste a paragraph, a page, or an entire chapter of your novel and examine the resulting “word cloud.” It will be obvious which words you may be abusing; they’ll be the ones in larger print.

Also, as regards repetition: how many references are you making to a character’s voice, eyes, hair, build? Such references slow your pacing and get in the way of character development that would be more useful, such as personality quirks, thoughts, or relationships with other characters. “Okay, okay, we get it.  He’s the hottest guy in school/ the company/ the universe.  Move on!”

As for redundancy, look for sentences like: “He was gone, but I could still feel the warmth of his hand on my arm.”  If this isn’t a flashback to when our speaker was ten and now-deceased Grandpa Simon placed a hand on our speaker’s arm to tell him or her a secret or to share some truth about life, “still” may be dispensable and superfluous (this is where you say, “I see what you did there”).  Watch for overuse of modifiers, as in:  “The people suffered innumerable and infinite injustices at the hands of the Council,” “Czongor wisely and astutely disagreed.” “We took a tedious and monotonous route through the barren desert.” Some would even consider “barren desert” redundant.  

What to do if you still cannot see some of the glitches in your own work?  That’s for the next post.

"What if I can't find any problems in my writing?" Revision Strategies, part III

*raises right arm to the square*

I promise not to call you “delusional” for thinking your writing is perfect.

Some aspiring writers struggle to honestly criticize their own work  They fail to notice awkward word choice, repetition, redundancies, sloppy plotting or awkward pacing, and underdeveloped characters. As any good therapist will tell you, “admitting you need help is the first step.” There are ways to tackle this; let me show you a few.

Read your work out loud, either to yourself or to somebody else. Hearing your words read aloud might help you identify what sounded good in your head but doesn’t work on paper. If your speaking voice sounds too much like the one in your head, have somebody else read it aloud to you. A different voice speaking your words might make a big difference to your perception of your writing.

Find some people to read and critique your pieces. Choose friends, colleagues, or even relatives whom you trust to not look at your work through rose-colored glasses.  If you only choose people who are afraid to be honest or who really aren’t critical thinkers, you’re not going to get much help, so perhaps you could start by giving them one chapter and see what suggestions they come up with.  If people use words like “interesting” or “amazing” or “needs more detail” but cannot tell you what they specifically find “interesting” or “amazing” or just exactly what details they’d like to see “more” of, they might not be the right ones to help you. Look for people who can ask you specific questions about your work. Readers should ask questions like:  “How did Cecelia and Elliott get from just-meeting to best-friends so quickly?” “So, Justine is an expert sword fighter after only one lesson?”  “I’d like to know more about what the building looked like.”  “Wait--is she really as ‘slender as a willow sapling’?” “Do you need to describe the sun as ‘glowing’?” You may, of course, ignore any and all questions, but I submit that seeing your writing from the perspective of another can be a real eye-opener.

Some writers find writing groups helpful.  You can join groups of writers who are all working in the same genre (romance, fantasy, etc.), or you may prefer working with a mixed group of writers who are working in diverse genres. You may be uncomfortable with the intimacy of reading and discussing your project face-to-face with live people, but it may be preferable to having undetected ridiculousness in your writing, and the bonus is that you’ve caught it before it got out there for people like me to get snarky about.

Or, if you prefer the relative anonymity of cyberspace, you can join one of the dozens of online writing communities.   A caveat:  It’s an absolute crapshoot as to whether you find reliable, helpful critique buddies on one of these or not. I’ve seen some pretty laughable stuff get rave reviews.  I’ve also seen some nasty flame wars.  The same anonymity that protects you can turn other people downright hateful and cause them to say things they’d never say to a person’s face.  

Read negative reviews of published works.  Pay attention to what caused the reviewer to give a negative critique of the work in question.  Get cheap used paperback copies of novels and underline the crappy bits.  Write notes in the margins.  Converse with the author. It can be therapeutic to see that bad stuff gets published all the time. Tell yourself that surely you can overcome some of the foibles that made this particular author look so ridiculous.

Of everything I’ve mentioned here, however, I’ve saved the most important bits for last, and even gave them bullet points for emphasis (you’re welcome):

• Analyze your work as a reader and not as a writer.
• Analyze others’ work as a writer and not as a reader.
• Develop a thick skin.
• See writing as a journey and not just as a means to an end.
• Take responsibility for your own work.  Don’t count on editors, beta readers, or your writing group to fill the gaps in your skills.

Plot Points and Pacing and Getting Unstuck

So, Word Nerd, I’m on the fourth chapter / in the middle / near the end of my project.  My main characters have been introduced, as has (have) the conflict (conflicts).  I had a great hook and started out with action; I threw in some tension, but now I’m trying to figure out where my characters go from here.  

First of all *smacks you upside the head* why didn’t you begin with some sort of outline, timeline, pace chart, or any other kind of meta-document?  And how many other unfinished projects do you have lying around because you didn’t really plan? Don’t you see how you’re shooting yourself in the foot?  Even if you’ve got 65,000  of your targeted 80,000 words written, sit down and work up some sort of outline or timeline.  This will also help you with problems of continuity and logic your story may present.

Second:  Finish something.  Please.  Even if it absolutely sucks and will never see the light of day, finish something.  Proving to yourself that you have it in you to finish a project may just be the thing that spurs you on and leads to other successes.

If you began with an outline of some sort, are you “stuck” because you suddenly realized you wanted to take your story in an entirely new direction? Go and create a new outline/ timeline / meta-doc.

Have you given your characters enough to do?  Do they escape too easily from the dungeon, or does the Big Bad Evil send his minions after them because they’ve stolen the Magic Thingie?  Make them work for their happy endings.

How’s your pacing?  Good pacing consists of scenes where there will be action, tension, and even not much happening.  Action consists of, naturally, battles or pursuit.  Tension is where things or people are hiding or being hidden. A girl disguised as a boy, a person in the wrong place at the wrong time witnessing a murder. Don’t discount the not much happening scenes and chapters, either.  This is where you do your world building and character development.  Make certain that you balance these.  You don’t necessarily have to have an action chapter followed by a not-much-chapter followed by a tension chapter.  That would make your writing formulaic.  Do what the story calls for, but keep your audience in mind too.

For example:  We find out in the first chapter that a character’s mother is dead.  There are brief mentions of her in subsequent chapters, but no big “reveals” until chapter 8, when the character is in a tense situation and remembers her mother had diabetes and had to stick herself with lancets and give herself insulin injections.  Our protagonist remembers how frightening it was to see her mother do this, and she draws upon her mother’s example of courage to bolster her own.  So we readers wonder if the mother’s illness might have been the cause of her death.  Then it’s not till chapter 11 that we find out that the mother was actually killed  in an auto accident by a drunk driver. Don’t “info-dump” or “frontload” on your readers. Give out the information a little at a time and in relevant situations. This will help you avoid the “soggy middle.”

Try stepping away (briefly!) from your project.  Go do something physical for awhile, watch a couple of “Bones” episodes or a soccer match.  Read something that makes you laugh--or cry.  Or just step away from the computer and do some writing by hand for awhile to break your normal routine.  

Switch genres.  If your previous story was urban fantasy, try some historical fiction. Even if it sucks and will never see the light of day.

Some authors simply “write through” the block. Use square brackets and tell your manuscript [I have no idea what happens here] and work on a scene where you do know what happens.  

Take one of the characters and write a separate story or scene for them.  Even if it doesn’t fit in your current project (and sometimes especially then), this will help develop them or give you new ideas for other stories.

And. . . save everything.  When you rewrite, squeezing the prose or removing irrelevant bits, place deleted scenes, characters or ideas in a “Rejects” or “Backburners” folder.  You never know when a deleted scene or character will suddenly come to life and either fit perfectly in your current creation or demand to be in its own story.