Saturday, October 15, 2011

How does this crap get past an editor?

Part the first, of what I hope will be many more, because snark is what I do: 

“[insert character name] nodded silently” –Brandon Sanderson, about a thousand times throughout the Mistborn series.
Unless your characters belong to an alien race with rattlely things in their heads, “silently” is completely unnecessary.

EDIT 11/11/11:  Just saw it in Scott Westerfeld's Goliath.  NOOOOOO!  Why, Scott?  Whyyyyyy?

“He shook his head numerously.” –Leon Uris, Trinity.
 Inventing new adverbs was definitely not Uris’s forte.

[insert character name]’s eyes tightened. . .” Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn
If you’re looking for a new way to say “narrowed,” this isn’t it.  I’m picturing a drawstring or something “tightening” the eyelids.  Ew.

“In a hellish blur. . .” James Patterson, Don’t Blink
Okay, it’s an action scene, but I’d like to know just exactly what make a “blur” “hellish”?

saccharine” used in numerous novels of all genres and from all time periods, sometimes correctly, most of the time not, judging from how many times I’ve seen this used incorrectly.  Saccharine is a late-20th-century artificial sweetener that was created in a laboratory.  If you’re using it to describe something that is phony-sweet (the coworker who acts like they like you but who says nasty things about you behind your back), then you’re doing it right. “I was able to see right through Cora’s saccharine behavior.”  It shouldn’t be used as a metaphor for something that is truly sweet “his saccharine breath filled her senses as he moved closer.” unless, of course, the guy's a creeper.  If you’re portraying genuine sweetness, go with something that wasn't taken off the market for causing bladder cancer in rats.




1 comment:

  1. lol. I'm guilty of the Saccharine usage... :D I'd read it in another novel and thought to add it to my repertoire before I knew what it was. I have to admit to missing the use of the word. hehe

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